Posted in THOUGHTS

7 BAD HABITS TO BREAK IN 2019

I’m sharing 7 habits to break in 2019. These are bad habits that I myself sometimes consciously do and I thought I’d share these with you as food for thought and potentially as an inspiration for one another to set on a good start this new year. Let’s get into it.

1. Showing Up Late

Showing up late would have to be on top of the list. You have no idea how bad I am in showing up on time in every get together with friends, meeting a friend, work meetings, and appointments. Thank goodness, I have not missed any interviews yet. I will make it a mission to break this habit in 2019. This is probably so annoying on so many levels to other people because If I were the one waiting, I’ll get annoyed, too. Your friends will have to adjust to you because you’re late and that is not a good impression to have nor a good start for a new year.

2. Excessive Worrying

Worrying is feeling troubled or uncomfortable and being overly concerned about a situation or problem. I don’t like things being not perfect the way I wanted them. Thus, over-worrying is the norm for me. Sometimes I’ll realize it sometimes I won’t and it just keeps happening. I know life or every single day rather is full of uncertainties and if we spend our time worrying we will miss out on things that we should be focussing instead. Our brain is so powerful that what we think and what we obsess on will grow and develop. If you worry about the things that could go wrong, it might go wrong. Over-worrying will just attract more worry and you’ll be trapped in this entire same cycle. So, this year we have to stop worrying about things more than we should and redirect our way of thinking and focus on what we can do to address the things that keep us worried. Lastly, the effects are not healthy at all; less sleep, irritability, emotional exaustion, unrealistic fear, the feeling of everything is just not working and everyone is annoying. Haha.

3. Saying bad things to myself

I look at myself in the mirror and I can instantly point out the things I don’t like about my self physically (like how short I am and my eye bags) instead of honouring what I have and recognising the values I have personally that I should be proud of. Not to mention the comments I gave myself everytime I screwed up or failed. Ironically, I can support and motivate myself in doing what I want to do and I can blame myself as much without second-guessing if I have not performed well. If you’re someone like me, this has to stop. Everywhere you can see self-care and self-love are being raised for awareness because it’s obvious that sometimes we need to be reminded that we are amazing just the way we are. I believe that practising self-love is very important because of how we are within ourselves contributes immensely to how we present or express ourselves out into the universe. That being said, the idea of talking bad things to yourself as well as self-blame in every realm of life possible contradicts that notion. I am aware that sometimes this can appear lame but it’s actually true. You can’t be nice to anyone if you aren’t with yourself and how can you compliment others and can’t compliment yourself? It takes practice, I myself included should do so and today can be the first day of many.

4. Not Exercising

Trust me I get a burst of energy and motivation when it’s a good day and some days I just don’t. I have no idea why. This year I will try harder to stop me from making excuses not to work out. There are multiple benefits you can get even in just doing simple exercise and stretches. To name a few; back pain relief, helps with muscle spasm, weight loss, improves your mood, and make your heart stronger (no pun intended). No need for a gym membership or fancy work out gears and whatnot. Just do your daily stretch and exercise as much as you can and wherever you can.

5. Impulsive Buying

Don’t be fooled by sales and offers at the mall. I’ll be lying if I’ll say I wasn’t. But if your aim is to help them skyrocket their sales, then feel free. Haha. When I started sorting out the things I need from the things I owned, it hit me. I can’t believe the money, energy, and time I have wasted every time I saw that red tags with 70% or 50% off on it. I have started breaking this habit later of 2018 and planning to completely break it this year. Think about the time you need to clean if you own a lot of things, the time you spend to think what to wear if you have a lot of clothes. And this can’t be just me, have you noticed that even though you have literally tons of clothes, you somehow managed to think you have nothing to wear thus you need to buy new ones. If you wanna buy something, delay buying it. You might be surprised that the next day you no longer want the thing you wanted the other day. Lastly, the thing about sales or offers is that you’re not actually saving money but spending more money buying things more than you actually need.

6. Gossiping and Complaining

I’m so guilty of this. Haha. I get that we are not perfect so as the people around us and those days that are just the “unlucky days”. I complain less now than before, which is I think is progress. If you’re a person who complains a lot over silly things that shouldn’t be attended really, know that it’s bad for your health as well as to the people around you who are unlucky enough to hear you always complain. The more you complain the more you are attracting negative vibes and negative people into your life. If you just think about it, you have way too many reasons to be thankful for. Okay, this doesn’t mean we can’t have negative thoughts but we can try to just keep them to ourselves and not putting it out there for people to know and feel uncomfortable, too. Gossiping is a bad habit I want to break, too. Please don’t be so quick to judge me. I don’t gossip big time, it’s just that sometimes we can’t contain ourselves talking about other people’s lives. It would be nicer if we can just talk about the good in them and how they’ve succeeded in inspiring us by example.

7. Excessive use of phone

Lastly but by no means least, excessive use of phone. I myself might also be doing this way more than I should sometimes, but I’ll take credit in knowing when I should and when I should really not. When you’re with your friends or loved ones, put down your phone or excuse yourself if you have to answer an important call. The fact that they gave you their time makes them more than deserving of the time you spent scrolling your phone, too. Be present, engage in the conversation, and update each other. Believe me, It will make them happy, feel appreciated and respected, and you get to be “that friend” who isn’t always on his/her phone. The other reason aside from saving money, why I don’t use data on my phone every time I’m out is that it will give me no reason to use my phone. If I’m out with friends, okay I’ll snap a pic or two and then I want to have fun. If I’m alone, I want to think and unwind otherwise I will not go out if I only have to be on my phone.

That is all the habits I want to break this year. I wish everyone a very Happy and Prosperous New Year. Let’s have a fresh start and welcome the 364 days with hundreds of new chances not only for changing our habits but for literally everything. Let’s make 2019 better together! Thank you so much for stopping by. Cheers!

Love,

Jinky xx

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Posted in THOUGHTS

FIVE WAYS HOW TO GET OVER A BREAKUP

Let us take a moment to acknowledge how breakups suck, that they are not fun, and how hard is it to get over them. Fun fact, I always tell others that it is easy to get over a breakup, but in reality, it is NOT. I have experienced breakup myself and these tips that I am about to disclose actually worked and helped me a lot. Any of these tips might be a no-brainer but you probably need a little push to make this works for you. I hope this will help you get over your breakup, or help you see it in a different perspective in a way that you did not happen to realize it might be for your own good. Before I forget, let me tell you that whatever breakup you’re going through right now, YOU WILL ALWAYS SURVIVE. It takes time, it will get better, and YES, YOU WILL SURVIVE. There’s no judgement here, either you are surviving a 3-month breakup or a 10-year breakup with whatever reason. So let’s go.

1. CRY IT OUT!

You have to cry it out. You are hurt and probably feel like crap with all of these thoughts of him/her being gone and that you are alone now. Basically, you are in pain, you feel horrible, broke, all those feels let it out because it is perfectly normal to cry. These thoughts of being together, memories being together that hurt you so bad, just feel the pain and don’t try to ignore it because chances are you’re just delaying the process. You never know when it will hit you and you can’t hold it in any longer. Let’s say, you heard a song you two used to listen to or sing or you saw his/her picture (honestly countless of possibilities) and you started crying (insert hashtag story of my life here). Haha. Then, you came to realize you are not fully over him yet because all you did was distracting yourself and never acknowledged or accepted the pain you’re feeling. You thought you are doing incredibly fine now because you do not think of him anymore. Self-distraction also is one of the ways but it does not come before the crying. Yes, it is indeed a process people. Don’t mind the others saying ‘oh you’re crying over a boy or girl it’s not worth it’ because you are not honey. You are crying because you are sad and because it hurts.

2. DISCONNECT WITH THEM

Okay, you two are no longer together clearly you do not have business with each other anymore. For my girls out there, DO NOT go bash your ex’s inbox ESPECIALLY if you’re going to beg for you guys to get back together. PLEASE STOP IT NOW. It will irritate him and might make him think you can’t live without him. Like what’s that??? Sure you can. It will be hard but you can and you will. Okay, if it is really hard, then try harder. You have to try harder. Don’t let your friends or common friends of you two talk to you about him also, like updating you what he’s done or how’s he doing. It’s not that you don’t care anymore (well maybe you should okay that’s way too harsh) it’s just it won’t help with the main goal of you getting over him. You don’t have to block them but if you do, okay that’s fine as well. You do whatever way you find best works for you. I am assuming you knew that if you block/unfriend him, there is no such thing as ‘unblocking’ if you went down that path again and you missed him or if you’re drunk. Because that to me personally my friend, is a form of immaturity. You have to be firm and believe in yourself that you will get through this. Another thing is, don’t creep on your ex’s IG or FB page because then you will feel sad again if you see that he’s moved on with another girl or boy. Haha. And trust me when I say it’ll be more embarrassing if you accidentally liked his picture. It’s not fun or okay in so many ways. It happened to me, please don’t do that.

3. TALK IT OUT

You have to share whatever struggle you’re feeling with your friends or significant others and let them comfort you. You’ll be surprised how much relief you will feel from letting it out of your chest and hearing others’ perspectives or experiences. If you are angry, let it out too provided you do it responsibly. What I mean is, you can’t just be yelling at someone everywhere whenever you feel like or be extremely mean to anyone because you feel like crap. Another thing I must say is, I don’t recommend posting it on social media. If your purpose is to spread a positive feedback of what you’re going through then you go ahead, but if it’s just pure hatred it is a huge NO. Everyone doesn’t need to see how you’re doing and they don’t deserve to be lashed out by you of what you’re going through either. Keep it to a minimum exposure. I know this might contradict to the whole ‘talk it out’ thing but writing down what you feel and all the things you wanted to say to your ex is just as great as talking about it. If you’re not a talker and don’t feel comfortable talking, this is the best way to have it. You absolutely do not need to contain all these distracting feelings inside you because it’s not healthy. Writing is the safest way as well, you can’t hurt anyone with your words because no one hears it unless you actually send it out to your ex. You can pour your heart out, your regrets or what-ifs, all that stuff left unsaid, and trust me it will make you feel better! Oppps almost forgot I did talk to myself, too. There might be some negative self-talk happened but it helped. Anyways, it’s just you and yourself now when will be the better time to build rapport with yourself than right now. Seriously, remind yourself you are strong and that no one can bring you down. Haha.

4. DISTRACT YOURSELF 

You are in full control of yourself. You are single now you can do whatever the heck you want, so as choosing how to feel, how to deal, and how to react with your breakup (once again not skipping the ‘accepting the pain and reality stage’). I remember when I caught myself thinking about my ex, I will then immediately divert my attention into watching funny videos. It’s lame I know but it helped me tremendously that’s why you have to try it too. There are numerous things you can do to distract yourself. You can go shopping, go out with your friends, basically making memories with yourself is what I am trying to hint here. It’s an absolute waste of time to keep thinking about that person over and over again who might not have thought of you since the day you broke up. And yes, it is noted that sometimes going through breakups is actually time and money consuming. Haha. I’m totally just kidding about the money consuming part. Distracting yourself isn’t evermore about your ex himself, like how to let him go, but to claim this opportunity to be able to better yourself and be selfish. If that makes sense. Doing the things you have been longing to do but got no chance because you were too occupied maintaining a relationship. Life doesn’t end here. Explore by yourself and for yourself.

5. DON’T BE FOOLED BY ”TO GET OVER SOMEONE IS TO GET UNDER SOMEONE ELSE”

I think this is dumb and immature. I don’t think this is even helpful and I believe that nothing good will come out of this. Not that I’m implying any impression that you two will get through this and eventually will get back together, it is just not acceptable. You don’t let your breakup takes control of your actions and suddenly become carefree going out hooking up with whoever. At least be respectful, let the breakup takes its course and stop yourself rushing into things. I don’t think it’s healthy to start-up a new relationship with unhealed broken heart. Because the last time I checked you just went through a heartbreak. I will be worried if after a week you’re already this ready, have it all figured out, and able to be in a meaningful relationship again. You’re just gonna end up thinking about your previous relationship and break up because that was the reason why you are in this present relationship. Not to mention the fact that it will be quite unfair to the other party who you dragged into your messy relationship shebangs. What I am saying is there’s no such thing as jumping from one relationship to another immediately right after coming out from a breakup. It is not real.

I still know everyone copes differently but these are just what worked in my experience. Some of you might relate and some might can’t. Whatever way makes you feel better, you do that. Of course, we don’t share the exact same experience and certainly what I think may not accord with what you think and what you believe in. But one thing is for sure, you will get through this, and as soon as you do, you’ll find all this hilarious. That is a FACT.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope this was helpful!

Peace and Love,

Jinky xx

 

 

 

Posted in THOUGHTS

52 WEEK BLOGGING CHALLENGE

Hello everyone! Wow! it is been a while since the last time I have posted. I apologize for being MIA for the past couple of months. So, today I have decided to do the 52 Weeks of Blogging Challenge. This post is not counted as one of 52, this is just an introduction kind of. Basically, it’s a challenge where I have to post a blog every single week for 52 weeks. Okay, first thought, I was terrified because we are talking 52 weeks of non-stop blogging (although I have an entire week to actually prepare for it, not that it is happening every single day and has to stop after 52 weeks) and I know I am terrible at this. For sure I’m gonna be beating myself to keep this challenge productively flowing, but I think this will be fun. In all honesty, I want to do this to have myself something to look forward to because I am the queen of only having to rejoice if I did something productive. Haha. So, I believe I am off to a good start. Therefore, keep your eyes peeled and join me every Saturday at 4 pm for a brand new post! I am not mentioning the topics here now for a bit of surprise, but they will be interesting. Yayyy! Thank you so much for reading and sticking with me.

I hope you are having a lovely day and see you Saturday!

Love,

Jinky xx

dreams don’t work unless you do

Posted in THOUGHTS

30 THINGS I LEARNED AT 3O

 

  1.  Talk less and listen more. The older I get the more I appreciate this. 
  2. Sleeping more than 8 hours a day is a waste of time.
  3. It’s okay to let people go. You’re not going to die.
  4. Cleanliness is life so as doughnuts.
  5. Save money to travel, and travelling alone is not that scary.
  6. The world really needs patient and kind people. I am trying and I believe I am making progress.
  7.  Building a career is what makes me a real woman.
  8. It is okay to say NO.
  9. Praying does magic. 
  10. You don’t need to have lots of friends, one is enough if you got the right one. Choose wisely.
  11. Needs and wants are two different things.
  12. Humour is essential. 
  13. Cooking is fun but hard at times.
  14. Being a realist makes things easier.
  15. English is a Language, not a measure of intelligence.
  16. Eating more vegetables and less meat is always a good idea. EVER.
  17. Swimming is actually fun. No sea creatures are going to bite off your toes or legs that could potentially kill you.
  18. Scoliosis is a big deal.
  19. Sunscreen is a MUST. 
  20. I would freaking do anything, and I mean ANYTHING for my family.
  21. Not everything learned from school is applicable in life but that does not mean you don’t have to study.
  22. The ‘You’re not who you think you are or who I think you are, You’re who you think I think you are’ makes sense.
  23. Failing is okay, sometimes it is the beginning of something great coming.
  24. Never be ashamed of your struggles, they shape you.
  25. Hairstyle tells a lot about you.
  26. Nursing is my Life and Purpose.
  27. I got my attitude from my mother and my creative side from my father.
  28. Living and working overseas make people think you’re rich. What about preference?
  29. Celebrate you and celebrate being alone. It’s perfectly fine.
  30. Doing something you’re nervous about brings so much satisfaction when they work out.

I hope you’re having a lovely weekend! 

Love,

Jinky xx

Posted in THOUGHTS

7 FAVE QUOTES FROM THE ‘REFLECTIONS OF A MAN’ BOOK

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  1. Is He Complaining About Your Standards?

When a man complains of your standards being too high, it is usually because he’s used to dealing with women who have none.

2. When He Wants To Change Who You Are.

Any man who makes you feel as if you have to change who you are, as a person, to be with him, is a man that will leave you as soon as he meets the woman he’s trying to make you out to be.

3. Emotionally Lazy Men.

Whatever you do, never chase a man. Why? Because it will make him emotionally lazy and he will feel like he doesn’t have to do anything to meet your emotional needs.

4. Your Broken Heart.

Does a woman’s broken heart ever truly heal or do you simply become stronger and find better ways to conceal the pain? You see, I might not know your name, but you can’t fool me with the lines, telling me you don’t care about him anymore, but I can see it in your eyes that he hurt you. Don’t be ashamed of the pain: embrace it. Don’t turn your back on the pain: face it. Let it all out and release it to the wind and when you’ve gotten it all out, there will be just enough room in your heart for you to finally love again.

5. Spend Time, Not Money.

Making a good woman feel secure in the relationship has nothing to do with how much money you spend ON HER, but rather how much quality time you are willing to spend with her.

6. The Same Applies To You.

In your relationship, never settle for less than what you deserve. At the same time, never think you deserve more out of a relationship than you are willing to put into it.

7. The Mystery of You.

I want to enjoy the mystery of not knowing you. Take in every exciting opportunity to learn you. Then, fall in love with the anticipation of one day truly understanding you, so that I can become totally obsessed with the beauty of doing all the things that make you smile.

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The Reflections of A Man is a very insightful read, expresses the man’s perspective pertaining Love and Relationship. It encourages men and women to find the true value of love, being-loved, and to-love. Truly a must read!

Love,

Jinky xx

Posted in THOUGHTS

A Day Off and 12 Things

I can be very productive on days off and I can procrastinate in so many levels as well. Meaning doing adult responsibilities in full swing and sleeping or binge watching anything the entire day. But I did manage to get out my nook, met my friends and catched up. SO that was better. We ate a lot of sweets and had healthier lunch together.

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I enjoy reading 12 Things post series, so I thought I do one today. It’s basically just sharing 12 things, that is it! Stuff is going on right now so what else could be better than posting it online. Haha. And also I feel like I overuse the word ‘stuff’ *sigh* I need to work on my vocab. Anyways.. Here’s it.

  1. I cleaned our bathroom today (because my flatmates are amazing they don’t clean it themselves after using, i mean why would they? but yeah they’re amazing!).
  2. I asked my bestfriend what does she think of me in two words and her answer was ‘hardworking b*atch’ followed by OR ‘talented b*atch’ but her final answer revealed ‘hardworking and talented’. Although I consider myself skillful rather than talented but that would do.
  3. Yesterday I ordered two products (blush and highlighter) from Kyliecosmetics just because it was on ‘free shipping worldwide’.
  4. I spent my afternoon yesterday re-watching the entire season 1 of Grey’s Anatomy. It still gives me so much feels.
  5. My ex psuedo boyfriend unfollowed me on instagram. Hahah.
  6. I diagnose myself with early onset of Alzheimer’s Disease because my forgetfulness is getting worst and I just told my mother (she hasn’t responded yet).
  7. Two weeks ago at work, we had an International Accreditation in our department. My interview with the surveyor went well and I believe I made my Nurse Manager and the Team happy. We pass the accreditation by the way.
  8. I am so excited for my new goals in 2018! I already have in mind where to go next for my birthday on March and for the annual leave on May.
  9. My current tv series obsessions are Riverdale, Grey’s Anatomy, and The Good doctor.
  10. My current top 3 favourite women: Shonda Rhimes, Martha Stewart and Taylor Swift. That’s right.
  11. I take instagraming very seriously! Haha.
  12. ‘Don’t be afraid to try something new because life gets boring when you stay within the limits of what you already know’ this is me in my core.

I would love to read yours. If you decide to make one, please leave or comment the link below and I’ll be more than happy to check them out.

Thank you and hope you’re having a lovely day or night! xx

Posted in THOUGHTS

5 Easy Ways to Organise your Thoughts

I came up with the idea of this blog post when I was sorting through my stuff this morning. For a couple of weeks now I have been experiencing a lot of pressure and stress over everything- personal related and work related circumstances. Seems like my mind is going to explode with all the things that I feel like I need to think about. However, I have realised that no matter how uneasy things are and how they left me drained and knackered, I still managed to get it done and happened to turn it just the way I wanted. Adulting can be overwhelming, seriously, with all the responsibilities you have to deal with on your own not to mention the choices and decision makings you have to make every freaking day. But my mindset is, always do your absolute best and don’t be discouraged if anything doesn’t happen the way you want it to happen. Plan and act everything in good faith and let tomorrow worry for tomorrow. I’ll share with you the ways that work best for me everytime I found myself overthinking.

1. HAVING A TO-DO LIST

Writing down your thoughts is so helpful in de-cluttering your mind. Make the famous to-do list and I can assure you, you will feel so much better especially when you cross out what’s done. Having a to-do list also assures you that you won’t forget anything and nothing will be left undone. Place it somewhere you can always see and it will also serve as a reminder of the things you need to get into, either for the day or for the week. So, there no reason to keep re-thinking about it because you got it sorted (sort of).

2. PRIORITISE

This is where you can organise the things that need immediate attention and the things that aren’t. Of course, carry out and think only the things that you need to do at the present moment and not for the next 6 months or a year. One thing in front of the other, one by one, that’s the way it’s gonna work. Unless you can multi-task but again not to the extent that you’re exhausting your mind over the things that aren’t necessarily be happening today.

3. AVOID DRAMA or CONFLICT

I’m well aware that conflict sometimes is inevitable especially with all the differences we have in culture and viewpoint, but we can definitely try to avoid it. I bet you have seen someone you know who likes to complain just about everything they can possibly see or dealt with, because I have, and that my friend is a nightmare! Containing what you feel hearing them and keeping your cool take a tons of efforts. But you have to keep it together because it’s not worth it, they don’t deserve your reaction and do not even dignify it with a response. Ignore them and don’t let them disturb your inner peace. There’s nothing more pleasant than having a peaceful sleep and wake up the next morning worry free because you know you wronged no one or you hassled no one. I’m sure you all have heard the quote ‘less talk, less mistake’. Now, don’t get me wrong, it is as important as expressing how you feel and what your thoughts are, but you have to consider the situation and anticipate the response you might be getting. Are you gonna be helpful or are you just saying things so it’ll be known that you have a say on something? Believe me, you don’t need to give a comment on everything especially if that isn’t inspiring and also because somehow nowadays, people get easily offended by the things you said that weren’t what they think you meant. Walk away from this kind of people they aren’t healthy to be around.

4. VALIDATE

Seek answers for the things that bother you. Your questions can’t be attended unless you actually seek for probable reasons. Things that you have doubt on and keep hunting you will get you thinking about it over and over again. If you have issues with someone and experiencing the so-called ‘inevitable conflict’ you have to work on it and resolve it before it can lead to further conflict. Validating any kind of feels can set your mind free but don’t rationalise things base on your assumptions that’s too risky, to be honest.

5. CELEBRATE

The last but by no means least, celebrate. There are bajillion things to celebrate, folks. Look around and you’ll see. I can’t enumerate them all in here but personally, my fave is taking a walk, I know this may seem like the most normal thing to do but it is relaxing for me. Taking your mind off things and the fact that you are able to take a break, that is indeed a celebration. In addition, I would binge watch a new tv series or read a fiction book over coffee. These are small gestures that you can reward yourself because you have accomplished something or because you are up to date on your to-do list. Only if you do the things I have mentioned. No matter what kind of relaxations you may have, appropriate and not illegal of course, whatever suits your taste, you do that.

The state of our mind can affect our actions and our entire well being. We are the one managing our mind not the other way around. We have a choice on what to feed our minds with, and that is already a victory. Mental health is as important as physical health, with all those greens and weight lifting you’re doing. Basically the same.

Thank you for stopping by, I hope you found this helpful!